Let’s Talk About Substance Use: Matthew Perry's Tragic Story Sheds Light on a Silent Struggle
Matthew Perry, known and loved by so many of us as Chandler Bing, has been part of our lives for the past 30 years. Making us laugh when we’re sad, stressed, or sick, I know Chandler has been my Friend throughout a lot of life’s ups and downs.
This week he passed away, alone, unsupported and without friends by his side. It’s devastating to think that someone who brought so many of us comfort and support, lacked these things in his own life. Perry has been vocal over the years about his struggles with drug and alcohol addiction, sharing in his memoir that he’d gone to rehab more than 12 times, spending millions trying to get sober.
The sad reality is that 3.3% of Australians over 16 struggle with substance abuse, so let’s talk about it. If we can use Perry’s tragic passing as an opportunity to bring some light to the darkness that ultimately took his life, then maybe we can help prevent this devastating outcome for someone else.
So, what are substance use problems?
Not everyone who uses a substance like drugs or alcohol will have a substance use problem. Problems occur when a person is being harmed by their use of a substance, either in the short or long term. It’s not just about how often or how much someone uses something - but the impact that the use has on their broader life.
For a person to have a substance use disorder, their problem must have a negative effect on their life over the course of a minimum of 12 months in at least two of the following areas:
The substance is often taken in larger amounts or for a longer period than usual.
The person wants to reduce their use, but they struggle to.
They spend a lot of their time getting, using, or recovering from the substance.
They have regular cravings for the substance.
They often are unable to fulfill responsibilities in their life because of the substance.
Their use has caused repeated conflict or problems with people in their life.
They’ve repeatedly used the substance in situations that are physically dangerous.
They continue to use the substance even if they have a mental or physical health problem caused by it.
Their tolerance to the substance has increased substantially and they need more to experience the same results.
They experience withdrawal symptoms if they go without.
For many people, including Perry, substance use disorders go hand in hand with other mental health problems like depression, anxiety, bipolar or psychotic disorders. People with anxiety or depression are 3 times more likely than the average person to have a substance use problem.
Why does this happen?
People will often use drugs or alcohol to help relieve unpleasant emotions by altering their state with the substance, however, the ongoing and repeated use of this can develop into a problem.
It’s important to know that alcohol and other drugs can also cause problems in a person’s life, which may in turn create or exacerbate a mental illness. It is a two-way street.
What do you do if you notice someone in your life may have a substance use problem?
As always, our first point of action if we notice someone in our life may be struggling, is to talk to them about it. Before you reach out to them for an open and honest conversation, reflect on the person’s situation, organise your thoughts, and decide what you want to say.
When you’re prepared for the conversation, arrange a time to talk with the person in a quiet, private place, when both of you are free from other responsibilities - and importantly, neither of you have been using a substance.
Ultimately, this person needs a friend. Experiencing a substance use problem can be incredibly isolating and frustrating for the individual, so it’s important that you express your concerns without judgement, blame or aggression. Try to understand the person’s perspective on things by asking them about their substance use and whether they think it is becoming a problem.
When talking with the person, use statements like “I am concerned about how much you’ve been drinking lately” rather than “you’ve been drinking too much”, and try to identify and discuss the problems in the person’s behaviour. It’s also important to recognise that the person may recall events in a different way to you, or they may not have any recollection at all, so try your best to focus on talking about the person’s substance use and try not to be drawn into discussions about other issues. You can use explicit examples to help show the person why you’re concerned, and use empathetic reasoning to explain to the person that the bottom line is you’re worried for them and want to help.
Of course, the person may not be ready to talk about their substance use, so if you sense hesitation or if they begin to get defensive, try to ask them about other areas of their life that may be causing or impacting their substance use and find other ways to approach the conversation. If this is the first time someone has brought this up with them - the person may not even be aware that there is an issue, and if this is the case, just let them know you’re worried for them and remind them they can reach out to you at any time.
What do you do if someone struggling with alcohol or drugs doesn’t want to change?
Of course, you can’t make someone do something. If they don’t want to change, it’s really important that you do your best to maintain a good relationship with the person - they may change their mind later and may need you for support.
If the person doesn’t yet realise they have a problem, you can send them the link for Check Your Drinking or Drug Screening - both of which have shown to be effective in motivating change in people who don’t yet realise they have a problem.
You can support someone to seek help online and via phone at:
Quitline: 137 848 (24/7 national smoking quitline)
Counselling Online (24/7 text-based counselling for alcohol and drug users)
Family Drug Support: 1300 368 186 (supports families experiencing alcohol and drug issues).
The bottom line?
Research has shown that people are more likely to recover from drug and alcohol problems if they have stable and supportive family and friends, who do not use substances themselves and approach the person with respect and empathy.
If you notice someone in your life may have a problem, reach out to them and tell them
“I’ll be there for you”.